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Flat Butt, Stand Up – Tips to Avoid Being Sedentary

I just read an article that said that “being sedentary for more than three hours a day can decrease your life expectancy by two years”. Oh my. By my count, I should be signing my last will and testament like now….or more like, five minutes ago. Seriously? Of course, I’m sitting (and being extremely sedentary) while I write you today. I don’t know if I honestly spent more than three hours standing today… how about you?

At my last job, there was a young chap who had his desk set up so he was able to stand all day at it. I laughed. I laughed a lot. A couple of weeks ago, they showed Al Roker on The Today Show…. and his desk? It was set up at a treadmill so he could get his workout in while working away. Walking…working…typing….standing…. I laughed again. I laughed a lot. Plus, I thought… I can barely type while sitting, let alone type or read while running. And then there was more laughter. Tonight after reading this article, while relaxing on my bum….not so much. Ok, really? I’m still kind of chuckling. Not kind of even….I’m laughing my butt off. So much so, it’s non-existent.

Based on our jobs, I hope you all are feelin’ me here. My butt is as flat as a pancake. It didn’t start off that way twenty years ago. But after years of sitting on it, being sedentary, what was it supposed to do but flatten itself out? I haven’t given it a lot to work with. And, I’m actually ok with that. That is until J-Lo and Kim Kardashian came along with their cute butts and all. But isn’t that why they invented butt pads?

When it was just my butt affected, it wasn’t such a big deal….now, that it’s my actual life? That takes things to a –whole ‘notha level- So, this week… I’ll try some of their suggestions in hopes of extending my life a few more minutes. What do I have to lose anyway? Apparently, nothing! So, I’m going to include some of their suggestions. Anyone up for a challenge?

Paying bills in the kitchen….now, if I just don’t pay the bills, does that count? What if I just run screaming from the mailbox to the trash can? Does that count? No. My husband says no. Fine. Leaving your laptop open on the counter is supposed to help. You can pay the bills, email friends, check your Facebook and Pinterest accounts all while standing. Gosh, just checking Pinterest alone, I bet I can gain 8 hours of “stand up” time.  Oh, but no leaning or sitting on the counter. There goes my back up plan.

Cut back on television….Limiting your time watching TV is supposed to add back over a year to your life. How about exercising while watching TV? I remember when I was in High School, my mom liked to do Jazzercise and I would sit on the couch, snacking and then taking a little siesta….all while watching mom working out. See? This sitting thing goes WAYYYYY back. Plus, how rude was I?

Using a timer….So, I’ve done this and it does actually work. If you set a timer on your phone to remind yourself to take breaks throughout the day, it does help to get you up and take a little stretch. Currently, the only time I’m taking a break from my desk is to go to the bathroom….AND, I’m right back to sitting again, sedentary. I don’t know if you all are seeing the trend here but this is not looking good for me.

And, finally, standing while taking calls….get up! But then, how will I check Facebook? Oh right, I’m supposed to be spending that time standing up as well, aren’t I?

If it’s not obvious to you all by now, I need some real help here. Submit your ideas for how I can get a couple of extra years back, ok? I’m struggling and my butt just keeps getting flatter.

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